Healthy Parenting

How can I be an involved dad?

Fathers play a really important role in their children’s lives. This is true if a dad lives with his child full-time or not.

If you had a father when you were growing up, what did you call him? If you didn’t, what would you have wanted to call him? What does your kid call you now?

There are several different types of fathers:

• Biological Father—The man who genetically created the child from his sperm.
• Legal Father—The man recognized by law to be the father of the child.
• Dad—The man who is emotionally engaged with his child–nurturing, guiding, and supporting.

Being involved in your child’s life is more than just providing for them financially—although that’s a good start! Children who grow up with involved fathers are less likely to live in poverty, drop out of high school, and commit crimes.

If you’re looking for ways to be a more involved dad, consider these ideas:^1,2

• Be present—If you always seem too busy for your child, they will feel neglected no matter what you say. Listening helps your child feel respected and understood. If you can’t see them in person, stay connected through phone calls, texts, emails, and FaceTime. Send morning and bedtime texts with a meme, selfie, or dad joke to strengthen your bond.
• Be a teacher and a playmate—Teach your child about right and wrong and encourage them to do their best. Help your child with homework and encourage them to choose different activities they enjoy.
• Be loving and affectionate—Sometimes showing affection can be difficult for men, especially if we didn’t grow up with fathers who showed affection to us. Hold and kiss your newborn baby, and continue to give your child lots of love and affection as they grow older to help them feel secure and attached to you.
• Be a role model—You’re a role model to your child, whether you realize it or not. Treat others with kindness and respect. You can also teach your child humility by admitting when you make a mistake. After all, no parent is perfect!
• Be supportive—Provide for your child financially and emotionally. In addition to paying your child support, if you have a child support order, do household chores and teach your child how they can pitch in, too. Nurture your child, and comfort them when they are upset.
• Develop a positive relationship with your child’s other parent—This can be hard. You’ll go through a lot of ups and downs with your child’s other parent while they grow up. When children see their parents respecting each other, they are more likely to feel they are also accepted and respected. Try to maintain a respectful relationship and avoid exposing your child to conflict or drama.
• Join a fatherhood program. Research shows that young fathers deal with massive identity changes when they become dads. They can experience financial challenges, may need legal advice for establishing custody and parenting time (visitation) of their kid, and could benefit from co-parenting and parenting advice designed for men. Fatherhood programs provide this type of support to dads–they are free to join!