Healthy Parenting

How can I be a supportive parent?

Being a parent is hard! Let’s start by acknowledging that. One way to think about the type of parent you want to be is to look back on your childhood. There are two types of parents. Which one did you have? How do you want to do things differently with your child?

Biological Parent: Either of the two people who are the source of the sperm and egg necessary to make a baby.

Caregiver: A person who takes care of a child and helps provide for the child's basic needs and safety at any given time.

There are a lot of things that happen in life that can influence your family’s circumstances and your child’s future. Think of these random things or events as a protective factor or a risk factor. Protective factors are positive adult-child relationships, healthy co-parenting, coping skills, supportive friends, education, and the values kids are taught. Risk factors might be family dysfunction, substance use, unhealthy relationships, violence, crime, and the values kids are taught. Values are learned behaviors! And they can be positive or negative.

When it comes to parenting, five protective factors strengthen families and reduce the likelihood of child abuse and neglect.

• Parental resilience

• Social connections

• Support in times of need

• Knowledge of parenting and child development

• Social and emotional competence (ability) of children

Building your skills and support systems in these areas and taking steps to improve your child’s chances for survival and economic mobility are things you can plan for as a parent.

Ultimately, being a parent is about preparing a child for life. There are a lot of opinions out there about parenthood (you’ve probably heard them!), but always remember that you know your child best. Here are some tips to build stronger, supportive connections with your child: ^1,2

• Be as empathetic as possible—Empathy is a learned skill. It requires you to sense someone’s emotions and place yourself in their shoes. Parents with empathy provide a safe place for their child to explore different emotions and seek comfort when needed.
• Enter your child’s world—Help your child feel seen and valued. Actively listen and ask questions about topics they are interested in, even if you aren’t interested in them.
• Make time to connect—You may only have a few minutes free each day to do this, but those minutes mean the world to your child. Participate in an activity they enjoy. Play together, watch something together, or let them teach you something new. As your child grows up, the more opportunities you have to listen and spend time together, the more likely they are to come to you to talk about things like relationships, sex, substance use, and their future.
• Celebrate wins—Big or small, these are the moments your child will remember.
• Problem solve together—Don’t rush into fixing something for your child. Instead, work together to try to solve a problem. This will help them gain the skills needed to tackle hard stuff in the future.